Battle For Ohio

it's Friday, so, I am bringing the Quick Hit noise!

Attention!  Attention!  Read all about it!  Another Friday and another quick hits coming at ya!  As usual I will cover a wide spectrum from Lebron getting dunked on to a famous TV star getting all kissy face with another woman!  Exciting stuff!

Bruno watches in the crowd with pleasure!

• American Joey Chestnut defeats once heralded Kobayashi in Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Contest.  He devours a record 68 hot dogs in 12 minutes.  I guess it is time to bring on the bear that beat Kobayashi, for that seems to be Joey’s only hurdle into super stardom.  Joey, congrats on being able to swallow that many hot dogs that fast.  Gay guys everywhere will be lining up to meet you.  Boom, roasted.

• Chad Ochocinco vows to “tweet” during games.  I can see it now: “Did you see me step out of bounds and avoid that hit?”  “Did you see me make that diving catch that Carson made the wrong read on?”  “Did you see me almost block that guy on the end around?”  Child, please.  Chad, you pay attention to the game and let perennial bench warmer, Jerome Simpson twitter.  It will give him something to do.  Boom, roasted.

• Lebron James apparently got dunked on by Xavier University sophomore Jordan Crawford.  By most reports it apparently was a pretty nasty two handed dunk right in Lebron’s face.  I keep saying “apparently” because seconds after the dunk Nike representatives scoured the building and collected every recording of that happening.  So now Nike looks like a-holes and Lebron looks like a wus and a baby.  Hey Nike, the JFK conspiracy theory called and said nice job on the cover up.  Boom, roasted.

• A warrant has been issued for the arrest of Chris Perry.  Apparently Chris took a page out of Willie Nelson’s book and decided not to pay his taxes.  Who can blame him really?  I pay my taxes and look at where it gets me.  It shouldn’t be too hard to serve him, last I heard he was in Orlando with about 5 other Bengals cast offs trying to get a job on a minor league football team.  Good to see you carry on that wonderful Bengal tradition of getting mixed up with the law.  LCI is building a whole new wing specifically for current or ex-Bengals.  Boom, roasted.

Who doesn't want to see her make out with another girl, really?

• Jump the shark alert!  Hayden Panettiere is rumored to be all set to make out with her college roommate on the TV show “Heroes.”  In what can only be explained as a quick fix to a dying TV show, this was the solution.  Personally, I WILL be watching and cheering loudly, but in reality this will be a defining moment for the show.  It will prove to everyone that there is not legitimacy to the show at all.  Hayden, before you go through with this you might want to ask Brittany  how making out with another woman in front of millions of people has done for her career?  Boom, roasted.

Dunks, warrants for arrest, girl on girl action, ruined TV shows and careers, gluttony, and twittering.  What more could you possibly want from a Friday Quick Hits?!

P.S.  RIP Steve McNair.