George Herron
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Quick Hits.
Posted by George Herron on August 7, 2009
Come get some of this Quick Hit goodness!
It’s time again for that weekly run down of sports and pop culture. Are you ready? Football, baseball, TO, American Idol, college football and more. So, tell a friend, tell a lover, tell a homeless person, hell tell that unicorn that you see when you drop acid and then you all can sit back and enjoy this week of Quick Hits.
- Ex American Idol Ju’not accuses Idol of being rigged. While I tend to believe him, I think all these crappy “reality” shows are rigged, I think he is not doing himself any favors. First of all if you are the only one speaking out you sound like a nutcase, your name doesn’t help that image either. Does he not remember how that guy that proclaimed to be sleeping with Paula got slammed by the media? It all comes off as sour grapes. Mel Gibson called and said that you would make a perfect actor for the upcoming sequel: Conspiracy Theory, The American Idol Story. Boom, roasted.
Drunk? Over medicated? Retarded? Too close to call.
- Also in American Idol new Paula is done with the show. Possibly the only reason to watch the show, the train wreck that is Paula, is leaving. Let me get this straight, Idol let her get an IV of vodka that is attached under their desk, they let her spout off non-sensical ramblings, they let her sleep with contestants, and on top of it they paid her to put her leather face on TV? When does she EVER think she will get paid to do what she was doing at home anyway? Here’s to Paula who is currently building a mock American Idol stage in her house that she will not only judge for, but participate in. Now the “audience will laugh with her, not at her. Boom, roasted.
- Urban Meyer becomes the highest paid coach in NCAA football. He has earned this. He has won everywhere he has been and has two national titles to prove that he is the best. He has managed to make Gator fans forget that Steve Spurrier was ever a coach there. Urban, please try and remember to squeeze some coaching in in between counting all your money. Does any one else think it is ridiculous that Urban Meyer is getting a contract to coach college football for that much money in this economy? It is a good thing we are covering the important things first. Maybe Urban should donate part of his check to rehabilitating former OSU players in prison. Boom, roasted.
- The Motor City Bowl is now the Little Caesars Bowl. How excited am I? I have loved Little Caesars for years and have been VERY excited to see them coming back. So for every touchdown do you get a free order of crazy bread? Are players required to tell the media after the game that they are on their way to get a $5 hot and ready pizza? Will it be free garlic butter for the first 10,000 fans? Really the jokes here are about endless. But really it comes down to the fact that other than me, who is retarded for Little Caesars crazy bread, and gambling degenerates no one really cares. It is just another bowl that no one really cares about in an extremely bloated bowl series. Boom, roasted.
Reggie Bush will be playing Mr. Glass in the sequel.
- Reggie Bush suffers a set back after off season knee surgery. Shocking. I have had this guy in fantasy football for two years and he is endlessly frustrating with all his tweaks and injuries. Time to admit I was wrong and the Texans did the right thing by drafting Mario Williams. Ugh, that tasted bitter. The next Gayle Sayers Reggie is NOT, the next Mr. Glass perhaps. Boom, roasted.
- Upset about getting beaned Prince Fielder charges the other teams clubhouse. You read me correct, he charged the clubhouse, not the pitcher. In all fairness he never really got the chance to charge the mound. Guillermo Mota was tossed out of the game immediately following the beaning since it was an apparent eye, for an eye move. The Dodgers Manny Ramirez was plunked earlier in the game so Mota took matters into his own hands and retaliated by hitting the other teams best hitter, that happened to be Prince Fielder. So was it Guillermo that Prince was running after, or was he trying to get to the food that was left over that they were going to throw out? Boom, roasted.
- Maurice Clarett is asking for early release from prison in order to pursue a career in the NFL. Of course he is, Michael Vick got released early, so why not Maurice right? First of all there is no way he should be released early for prison, I don’t care if he was so good that he got ordained in prison, he needs to serve his full term, which I am sure is not long enough because aren’t all star athletes coddled? Second of all, what NFL career? You flopped in Denver under Mike Shanahan. Mike could have taken a paraplegic and turned them into an all pro running back, and still managed to cut your sorry ass. Boom, roasted.
TO just found out that his show is ranked under 5 am reruns of the Fresh Prince.
- TO’s show is getting punked by 5 am reruns of the Fresh Prince of Bel Air. What’s that? No one wants to watch a show about a selfish, self absorbed prima donna? I could care less about TO on the field, why in the hell would I want to watch him lift weights, and cry about shit that effects no one else except him. TO is about as irrelevant to me as Michael Vick and Brett Farve, I just wish he would go away, forever. If TO would spend more time practicing and concentrating on football instead of showing everyone his boring mundane life and throwing every quarterback he has ever played with under the bus, then perhaps he wouldn’t be gator arming all those gimme catches in the end zone? Smell ya later TO. Boom, roasted.
- Remember the pitcher from the Peoria Chiefs that threw a baseball as hard as he could into the stands at a Dayton Dragons game? Well I do. Julio Castillo will be serving 30 days in jail, will have to take an anger management course, will have to get his GED and then will be on probation. If he breaks probation he will then go to jail for 3 years. This is an actual punishment. Had he been a major league player the Union would have stepped in and made sure that he only served about a week in jail and that would have been the end of it. I hope anger management works for this kid, we don’t need another Rob Dibble, or Danny Graves moment! Boom, roasted.
And there it is, another week of some great highlights, and lowlights. And over all great material for me to make fun of people! Tune in next week for another great post!
Neil said
Just like all the other washed up Cowboy stars soon TO will Join the likes of Michael Ivrin, Deon Sanders, and Keyshawn Johnson to form the most putrid football commentator team this world has ever seen. Thus I predict this will happen on 12/21/2012 causing the world to end due to all countrys that have nukes (yes even us)to us them to destory this evil “dream team” of sports commentators, while in the process dooming us all. Somewhere in the world, Ivrin is laughing…
grhii said
I think I can hear him……
Hoopes said
I find myself strangely overjoyed for Quick Hits Fridays… Scary! You guys heading to the festival tonight?
Jesy said
Hoopes, I also love Quick Hits Fridays…the “boom, roasted” makes me giggle everytime!
Yep, we will be there tonight! You?
Hoopes said
Yeah, I’ll be there, probably see you there actually… I think Matt and I are riding together, so we’ll see ya!