Battle For Ohio

This is what I looked like after getting out of the shower. The bump was less weird than suddenly becoming a black man.

Another good, interesting week of football that sees me on top with Andy again.  Will I ever lose again?  Doubtful.  Like the Bengals, though I have to learn to keep my foot on the gas.  I started 5-0 and then went 4-4 the rest of the way, pathetic.  Part of it was my own damn fault.  I did pick Detroit for reasons I can’t explain.  I think what happened is I slipped coming out of the shower and busted my head, but no one was around so I didn’t remember that I did it.  And here I thought that giant raised bump on my head was a tumor, what a relief.

Week 9 is done and in the books and the Bengals are in first place in the AFC North.  I will let that sink in….FIRST PLACE PEOPLE!!!  Amazing.  I thought they were a better team this year, but i didn’t expect this.  In my wildest dreams I thought they would be 9-7 and miss the playoffs.  They control their own destiny, lets just hope that they don’t remember that they are the Bengals!

Atlanta, well on it's way to victory. That free space in the second half helped.

Washington vs Atlanta:

Man, who didn’t see this ass kicking coming?  Atlanta was pissed coming off a loss and Washington is inept as ever.  It was building for quite the blowout, and it was.  Washington was never in this game, much like all their other games.  We al got this game right, so we all get the “Atlanta got the cover-all BINGO against Sherman Lewis and the Redskins” award.

Arizona vs Chicago:

Kurt Warner does a good job of putting the past behind him and enacts his revenge for 5 pick last week and throws 5 touchdowns this week.  Remember that one game against the Steelers where the Bears looked good?  Yeah no one else does at this point either.  The Bears have been torched by Cincinnati and Arizona and are now 4-4.  The playoffs are slipping away.  The only two wins that I see on the Bears schedule now are Detroit and St. Louis, Uh-oh!  Jesy had her sights on Chicago and was wrong, so she gets the “Da Losers” award.

Baltimore vs Cincinnati:

Is Cincinnati legit now?  They are 6-2 and 4-0 in a very tough division.  They have swept Baltimore and held their suddenly good offense both times and ran for over 100 yards both times against a stacked defense.  Baltimore, on the other hand, is fading fast.  All the momentum that they built up after crushing Denver was just lost.  The good news for them is that they still have to play the Steelers twice.  Wait, is that good news?  In any case, Baltimore will almost certainly have to win both of those games in order to make the playoffs, yeah good luck with that!  We all got this one right, so we all get the “Ray Lewis wasn’t upset, it was Tapioca Day at the nursing home” award.

Houston vs Indy:

Again I repeat, never bet against Peyton Manning,  Ever.  That is all.

Kansas City vs Jacksonville:

Kansas City has no earthly business being in this game.  I am not sure if it speaks more to Kansas City’s hungriness to win, or Jacksonvilles penchant for under performing.  Maybe a little of both here.  Doesn’t matter because Jones-Drew made up for any bad coaching on the part of Jack Del Rio, and I am sure there was plenty of that.  We all got this game right too, so we all get the “Matt Cassell isn’t earning his paycheck so he is giving it away to the first 100 fans that show up to the game, only 25 showed” award.

Miami vs New England:

Miami continues to impress me and they really are fun to watch, but New England is still King of that division, at least for the next couple years.  But watch out, I think Miami is building something good.  Next year they might manage a split with New England.  But as long as Brady and Moss are in New England, life for anyone in the AFC East will have trouble.  We all got it right, so we all get the “Tom Brady is prettier than any defensive scheme against him” award.

Thankfully for Aaron, they make all-terrain wheelchairs.

Green Bay vs Tampa Bay:

WTF?!?  How did Tampa win?  Better question, how did Green Bay lose?  Oh I see what happened, Aaron Rogers got sacked his customary 5+ times and threw three interceptions all on Josh Freeman’s coming out party.  When it rains it pours huh Green Bay.  If I am McCarthy I would bench Rogers and chalk this season up to a lost cause.  If you continue to leave him in there to get the crap kicked out of him he is going to start to look like Muhammad Ali.  He is a good quarterback on the verge of being great, PROTECT HIM.  It is clear that the offensive line can’t so the coach must.  Congrats to Josh Freeman in Tampa.  You are the 20th person that they have used at quarterback this year, you get a $10 coupon to Dick’s Sporting Goods.  I hope you aren’t looking for your jersey though, they still don’t know you exist.  We all got this one WRONG, so we all get the “Aaron Rogers is going to be the best quarterback in a wheel chair” award.

Carolina vs New Orleans:

I know I have already mentioned this, but I think it is brilliant, so I will mention it again.  Carolina, draft a running quarterback and some receivers that can block and go Wildcat.  It works for Miami because they commit to it and they have the personnel to run it.  You have that potential, plus do you really want Jake Delhomme losing anymore games for you?  I didn’t think so.  New Orleans had to shake off some early rust, but managed to come back in the second half and dominate Carolina.  Just can’t keep a good team down, and that is exactly what New Orleans is, a very good team.  A good enough defense and an offense that won’t quit.  We all got this game right, even though we had to sweat it out.  We all get the “it took three sticks of deodorant, but we called this game right” award.

The problem is quite clear concerning my picking Detroit to win.

Detroit vs Seattle:

Dammit Detroit, how can you let me down.  I even picked the Rams to beat you, but had faith that you could surprise the old broken Seahawks.  You let me down, not that it should be that surprising, you have been doing that to fans for 15 years.  I focused on Calvin Johnson this week, and so must have Seattle.  It didn’t help my cause that Matthew Stafford seemed to like to throw the ball more to the defense than his receivers.  Not sure what this really does for Seattle except for shut TJ up for a week.  I mean it is a win, which is great, but I think next year the NFL isn’t going to count wins against Detroit.  They will be everyone’s bye week.  I was the only moron that called this game wrong, so I get the “Next time you want to pick Detroit take a deep breath and pull your head out of your ass” award.  I really earned that one.

San Diego vs New Jersey A:

Ugh.  What a let down.  So the Giants started 5-0 against terrible teams and are now 0-4 against decent teams.  They are in third place in the NFC East, how did it come to this?  Four weeks ago they were a Super Bowl team, now they are fighting for a playoff spot.  They have one game left against each of the NFC East teams, and have already beat Washington and Dallas once.  They will need a clean sweep if they expect to make the playoffs at this point.  I think San Diego is making the most of the faltering Broncos.  After starting badly, the Chargers have stepped it up like they do every year.  This is the last hoorah for LT, so the Chargers had better make the most of it.  We all got this one wrong, so we all get the “Eli misses Plaxico more than anyone thought he would” award.

Tennessee vs San Francisco:

Welcome to the party Tennessee!  After taking the first half the year off the Titans finally decided to play football.  Did this team just rally around Vince Young?  Yep, that just happened!  It helps that Chris Johnson is running wild too.  Frisco, what happened to that dominating defense?  My guess is that they are about a year away from being dominating, maybe two.  But some of the pieces are there and they have the right head coach to lead them.  They need to fix that offense though.  Vernon Davis is the only guy out there making plays.  Andy was the only one fooled by the Niners, so he gets the “Alex Smith threw an interception to my heart” award.

Dallas vs Philly:

Every time I think the Eagles are putting it together, they come out and lay an egg like they did against Dallas.  I hope McNabb liked the reprieve he got from the fans last week, because they are going to be calling for his and Andy Reid’s heads again this week.  It’s truly the never-ending story.  Dallas congratulations, I am a hater and a doubter, but even I can see you are in first place in one of the toughest divisions in football.  I still don’t think you will end up there at the end of the year, the only thing stopping you is yourselves.  The Giants can’t throw the ball, the Eagles are too inconsistent and Washington is terrible and getting worse.  The division is yours to lose and I suspect with Tony “The Choke Artist” Romo at the helm that you will sooner or later.  We all got this pick wrong, se we all get to share the torch used to light Donovan McNabb’s house on fire by angry fans.

Pittsburgh vs Denver:

Or as I like to call it, the game that killed Jesy.  We were all tied going into the Monday night game and she picked Denver.  Silly wife and her Steeler hatred, which was on full display last night, came back to bite her in the ass.  Personally, I think Denver remembered that they have a rookie head coach and an average quarterback.  This is the Denver team I expected to see every week.  How they got away with their smoke and mirrors trick all those weeks are beyond me.  Media darlings no more, and thank God.  The Steelers came out of their bye ready to play and prove that the Bengals will have a hard time winning this division.  Next week is Steeler week and it is at Pittsburgh, I feel cold all over.  Jesy miscalculated here, so she gets the “I was fooled by the smoke and mirrors and all I got was this dumb award” award.

Jesy kept it close this week, she is getting much better, but still no match for me!  I loved her several mascot mess ups after a good week last week and thought her Tennessee pick was a good one.  Better luck next week dear!

Weekly Results:

• George:  9-4

• Andy:  9-4

• Jesy:  8-5

Yearly Results:

• George:  89-39

• Andy:  81-48

• Jesy:  76-58

Be sure to tune in Wednesday or Thursday morning for NFL Pickem’s this week since there is a game on Thursday!