MLB Reds Indians Xavier Basketball Bengals Bengals Videos Browns Browns VideosDedicated to everyday craziness. Be it tales from the homefront, guys wearing too short of short, talks with Brian, anything that happens in real life that is pretty funny!
Posted by pacmanxu on March 3, 2010
Sometimes I run across something hilarious that probably most people wouldn’t normally see in their daily traverse through the internet. This is one of those times. It has no relevance to anything, but is just too funny not to share with the world. Whoever did this was a genius…in my mind, anyway. I guarantee you’ll watch this sequence at least 5 times before moving on. Tell all your friends.
A man of many talents
Posted in Candid Craziness | Tagged: Donald Rumsfeld, drawing, jackass, origami, rolling a joint | Leave a Comment »
Posted by George Herron on December 5, 2009
Brian and Miranda with thee 90 Reds
We knew what we were in for. Or did we? Or did I? Normally anytime I try to take Brian anywhere, he tends to be an over all pain in the ass. A hilarious pain in the ass, but a pain none the less! But being a glutton for punishment I keep going back for more. Tonight we would head to Reds Fest. Would Brian and I tangle in hilarity?
Tonight would be a new challenge. A few new challenges. My normal wingman, Jesy, was babysitting. It was me and “The” Kevin Greene. With Jesy, roles are established. Jesy immediately assumes the mom role. Shepherding, herding, rounding-up, steering, and directing. My only real job is point man. My head is on a swivel. I am keeping track, making sure they are all there. What would happen with Kevin? Someone would have to assume the mom role, could both of us assume some of the mole roles to make it less weird, please?
Highlights:
That is what we call a "bum's diet."
SHUT UP YOU NOISY BASTARD!
Things I learned:
So, not a bad night really. Brian really was on his best behavior, personally I think it was to impress the girlfriend. If that is the case I might have to demand that Miranda goes with us wherever we go. The kids had a great time and there was plenty to keep them entertained, which was good, I was afraid they may get bored. It really was a heart warming experience to be able to take them both and just watch them have fun.
Thanks again to “The” Kevin Greene who got the tickets and was nice enough to take us all. I am sure he was repaid throughout the night.
Posted in Candid Craziness, Reds | Tagged: Chris Valaika, Frank Marzullo, Gapper, George Herron, Kevin Greene, Reds Fest | 2 Comments »
Posted by George Herron on November 15, 2009
Ohhhhh, so this is how shes been doing it. I always wondered why she had to change clothes when we played rummy!
I have been with my wife for a little over 8 years, dating + marriage. In that time we have played a lot of cards. We both come from families that like to play cards when they are together. Growing up in the summer when all the cousins were spending the night at my grandparents house we would all play cards. Rummy, 20 versions of solitaire, tripole, 5 card draw, 5 card stud with everything wild, night baseball, kings on the corner, you name it! So, naturally Jesy and I liked to play cards.
Something else should also be noted here, we both are very competitive. Neither of us takes to losing very well. So our card games always tend to get heated at one point or another. The same applies to board games. As a matter of fact there are two games that we will no longer play with the other one. Jesy will not play Monopoly with me ever again. Anytime it is suggested at a game night she flat out refuses and glares at the person that dared suggest it like she was trying to punch them in the face with her eyes. She thinks that I play “mean.” She would have to elaborate more, because honestly when she starts to rant about it every time I just tune it out and smile like a jackass to get under her skin.
I will not play rummy with her. My reason is more logical, it is because my wife cheats. Ever since we first started playing cards she has always destroyed me in rummy. I mean, normally she makes me look about as dumb as Paris Hilton at a NASA retirees reunion. I know, this sounds like sour grapes right? Nay. Look, the fact is that I can beat her in any other card game pretty regularly, but not rummy. Just ONE game of the many we play. The only logical answer is that she is a dirty cheater.
I bring all this up because until recently I just sounded as crazy as the town drunk on St. Patrick’s day. So, what happened recently? What was this Earth shattering event that allowed me to come out of the shadows and have my vindication? Well, the other night Jesy and I were playing cards, Polish Poker to be exact, with Kat and Adam. Jesy, coincidentally, was keeping score. We were about three hands away from calling it a night when Adam looks at the score card. See, at this point Jesy was so far ahead she would have lapped us 20 times. Adam noticed that Jesy had forgotten rounds on her score half the time. Jesy was of course at a loss because her math was sketchy all night and because she had finally gotten caught. All my years of telling people she was a cheater with no proof, and NOW to finally have it, in front of other people. Vindication.
Yep that really sums up how I feel.
We decided to play a couple hands with Adam keeping score, and strangely enough Jesy did not win those hands. I think it is now clear to everyone that I was not in fact crazy, that my wife is a cheater. This should be a warning to all of you out there that might find yourselves across the table from one Jesy Herron. If push comes to shove, she will cheat, especially if it is a close game of rummy. Have you played Bunko with her? Does she win more often than not? I would bet dollars to doughnuts that she has found a way to cheat in that game too.
Posted in Candid Craziness | Tagged: Adam Sensibaugh, George Herron, Jesy Wenstrup-Herron, Kathy Ottopal, NASA, Paris Hilton | 3 Comments »
Posted by George Herron on November 7, 2009
Will our trip rival theirs?
So the plan was to go eat Mexican at El Rancho Grande off Union Centre, stop by Target so that Jesy and Carol could do last-minute baby shower shopping and then for the “Grand Finale” we were driving out to Oxford to see the famous light. Rumor has it that if you go out to a specific road, park your car and flash your light three times you are supposed to see a red light going away from you and then a single head light coming at you that will eventually just disappear. The story is that a long time ago there was a girl living with her parents and her dad didn’t like her boyfriend. Isn’t that how all the stories start? Anyway, she would flash her house lights three times to signal the boyfriend that it was safe to come and get her. Well, one particular night she signaled him and he started to make his way to her house, unfortunately he did not see the little kid on the bike and ran him over killing them both. The girl was so grief-stricken that she hung herself in the barn. So now anyone can go signal the ghost rider of Oxford, allegedly.
So that was our itinerary for the night. Off the El Rancho! The only thing you need to know about El Rancho was what Brian did. Brian was sitting next to me instead of his customary seat next to Mommy. This would be his undoing. You see Brian needs supervision, even if he doesn’t think he does. For instance, Brian ordered three tacos. Of course he complained because he really wanted 5 or 6 tacos. Once the tacos arrived Brian, also customary, broke out the hot sauce and poured it all over his tacos. Again, this is normal for Brian, he normally puts hot sauce on anything he eats. I am not sure but I think that he would put hot sauce on his cereal if you let him. One thing Brian didn’t know however was that this was Habanero hot sauce, a bit hotter than he was used to, even though if you ask him, there is no such thing as too hot. The next problem was, as I said earlier, he was left to his own devises. So what does he do? He pours a river of hot sauce on his tacos. I am talking the Amazon River of hot sauce. He literally used 9/10 of the bottle on the three tacos. But no one noticed, everyone was preparing their own food and getting ready to eat.
Notice all the hot sauce! A fire-eater would have had trouble eating that!
He took a bite. Suddenly Brian’s face went from normal weird expression to a look of panic mixed with sheer pain. He immediately started sucking down water like he had just spent 40 days and 40 nights in the desert. He looked like an old cartoon, his face was all red and steam was coming out of his ears. He couldn’t even stop to talk he just kept drinking water because the inside of his mouth was so hot that I was getting a sun burn every time he talked. If you look closely in the picture you can tell that he actually made it about two bites into the first taco before he had to tap out. Brian just got owned. After watching this spectacle I was almost on the floor rolling. And these are the nights that I thank God that I married into this family! Needless to say, Brian got his wish, they did bring him out three more tacos, of which he DIDN’T put hot sauce on, so technically he did get 6 tacos, maybe that was his plan all along? In any case that taco kicked Brian’s ass. In the immortal words of Brian, “He got served.”
The bottle of death.
After the “Mexican Meltdown” we all piled into the car and headed to Target. The rest of the night was pretty normal with a few highlights that I will bullet point for you since none of it can even hold a candle to Brian vs the hot sauce.
And that was another Friday night out with the Wenstrup family, I could not have imagined a better night. As we arrived home I felt a little bad for Brian. Be it later that night or today he was going to feel that burn again, but it was going to be coming out his ass. Good luck buddy!
I imagine that this is what Brian looked like this morning.
Posted in Candid Craziness | Tagged: Brian Wenstrup, Carol Wenstrup, El Rancho Grande, Family vacation, Ford, Ford Focus, George Herron, Jesy Wenstrup-Herron, John Wenstrup, Oxford light, Target | 3 Comments »
Posted by George Herron on October 15, 2009
look at all that nice shade that big tree gives you! Saves you a little energy consumption in the summer!
It is finally happening. After about a year of kicking around the idea and after the last three weeks of non-stop work WE ARE SELLING OUR HOUSE! So, I am here to take a little of your time and try to convince YOU or someone you may know to buy this wonderful home.
Let’s start upstairs.
Do you like those colors in the living room? Chocolate and deep red. Very complimentary and it helps make the room come alive. Who wants a boring old white room anyway? The best part is you will never need more insulation in that room either, since there are like 5 coats of the red on the walls! In the words of Patti Minniear, “white walls are for tires.”
Warm and inviting, that is what these colors scream!
And while we are here, what about that big beautiful bay window in the front, huh? We are fortunate to be one of the only houses on the street with that distinction. It lets in a lot of natural light, perfect for those sunny days. Just lift up the blinds and soak up the rays. Got cats? They will LOVE the bay window, hell they might like that window more than they like you.
Let’s venture back to the bedrooms. There are three of them. Currently we have one as an office. All are a good size and all have re-designed closets to optimize storage. Look, my wife has more clothes than The Gap, and we can get all her clothes into one closet. The master bedroom is a very soothing green color with curtains from Ikea to match. The master bedroom also has a nice big window to let the sunshine in or to enjoy laughing at the little boy, Noah, across the street.
What better way to do your baby making than in this soothing room?
The office as we use it would also be great as a bedroom for those of you that might have already started your family. Unlike the master bedroom, it is carpeted, so if you are stuck home in the snow and you have to work from home, no cold feet in this room! It has a nice little window that over looks the back yard, so you can take a break and watch your dogs run around and play in the snow!
Now lets backtrack to the kitchen, or the flagship of this home. There was a lot of work done recently to prepare for someone to fall in love with. We painted it a very warm orange color, you can’t help but be in a good mood when you walk in. In order to make the orange pop even more we painted the cabinets white and gave you some new hardware to modernize and give you something to grab when opening. And don’t miss out on the awesome tile floor. There was a lot of blood, sweat and tears that went into making that floor look just right. Need appliances? Have ours. We want you to have this home so much that we are leaving all the appliances you see. Refrigerator? Yours. Dishwasher? Yours. Stove? Yours. New above the stove microwave? Yours!
What a quaint little kitchen!
Moving through the kitchen down the stairs into the basement. My suggestion, take off your shoes, you won’t regret it. The carpet is new and we spared no expense for you. The padding is the best and the carpet feels great on the bare feet. Are you creative? Do you have a specific vision for a room? Well, let your creative juices fly down here. This is a huge open room that can be perfect as a play room for the kids, a man-cave for the husband, or anything your heart desires. There is so much room down here you might have a problem filling it up! But wait there is more!
Poker anyone? Hell you have enough room down here to run your own tournament!
Behind this room you will be shocked to find just how much storage there is. So much storage that it will take you years to fill it all. And what else do we have back here, ahhh the laundry room. Tired of not having room to store all your cleaning supplies? Not to worry, the old kitchen cabinets are down here for you to fill. Plus a large double sided stationary tub. And there is plenty of room to hang some nice shirts or pants without being in the way. Need a washer and dryer? No problem we can hook you up, we will leave ours just for you. You know, because we like you!
Sadly that concludes the inside portion of our tour, lets head out back. Well, well, well, would you look at this huge deck that is great for social gatherings. Maybe some barbeques, maybe just to hang out and wind down. And would you just look at that yard! Do you have kids? Pets? Anything that likes to run around? Well, we have the backyard for you! Plenty of room for your kids to run around and expend some of that excess energy, or maybe you and junior can toss around the old pigskin after a Bengals win? Whatever the case is you, have the room to do it.
Big back yard, big back deck. What a great place to come out and relax.
So please talk to Monica Weakley, she is great and is looking to find a good match for this home. She is honest and a complete professional and wants to make sure that you are a fit for this home. She has been fantastic to work with and I know she will have your best interests at heart.
So, what are you waiting for come on over and check this place out already, before it is too late. You know a house this gorgeous can’t stick around for ever!
Posted in Candid Craziness | Tagged: George Herron, Jesy Wenstrup-Herron, Monica Weakley, Patti Minniear, Sibcy Cline Realtors | 3 Comments »
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